It was a normal day, sitting down to get work done, when I thought, Welllllll, I’ll just check a few blogs to warm up (sidenote: Friends, this is normally not a good idea when you’re trying to get work done), but this day, THIS DAY, it was meant to be.

I was catching up with my girl, Shauna, (you remember her, right?) when I set up straight. Wait, she’s coming to Dallas?! I quickly check her schedule and realized, WAIT, SHE’S COMING TODAY. TODAY, as in this day. And my most immediate thought was, I’ve missed it…it’s too late. There won’t be any tickets…blah blah blah. But then…then I thought, Wait, why not? Why not go? Why not get someone to go with you and why not ask ask ask for tickets, pleeeease, pretty please?

So I made a few phone calls and a few clicks of the mouse… and we were set.

All I had to do was move. Take a tiny leap.

I’ve told you about Shauna and how her books speak. They speak truth that runs and rings so deep in your heart you’d swear that her thoughts had zoomed out of your own head, into hers, then out her fingers and back into yours as you run them across the lines of her books. I just had this moment while reading Bittersweet – it was a gift from God who gave me the right thing at the right time – and I finally saw that the kind of writing I do, that I try to do, that I want to spend my life with, that I think God has designed my heart and mind to do – I saw that it was possible. She was living proof. And for her to come to town and not take the chance to see her? I just couldn’t stand it.

So we went. And she was just as fantastic as she is in her books. The whole time I had to keep a well of tears from bubbling over my eyes as I sat and listened to her talk. And once it was over, my dad told me that there was no possible way we could leave before speaking to her. I had to tell her thank you for your stories at the very least he said. So we waited. And then she came out and started to walk right past us when my dad stopped her. As he told her what a great job she had done and how he was looking forward to reading her new book, I felt all the oxygen leave my body. I couldn’t speak. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. Different than pure nerves, it was like all the oxygen was sucked out of my body and all I could do was think, DON’T CRY. Thankfully, my dad continued the talking, telling her that she had to meet me, that I was a big fan and that I was a writer too. Oh yeah? she asked, What’s your name? People, I could hardly get Caitlin out.

In your day dreams, when you meet someone you admire, you’re witty and smart and say just that right thing so that that person thinks, “Oh my gosh, where have you been? Let’s be best friends…clearly, we basically already are.” But in reality, in that moment, you’re face to face with a person that has meant so much to you, who you feel like gets you and has given you this incredible gift through their books of letting you know that you’re not the only one who thinks or feels a certain something, or that what you’re dreaming of – yeah, that’s possible, or sheds a light on the next ten years of life and lets you know that you can do it, that things are great and difficult and rich and deep and moving. You’re face to face with someone who has changed you in some great way and all you can do is not cry. And maybe get your name out.

But that’s okay. As silly as it may sound, just the opportunity to sit in a room with Shauna and hear her talk and shake her hand and look her in the eye, well, that was enough.

Driving home, I opened up the sunroof to let the spring night air in. I marveled at how when I woke up that morning, I had no clue what sweet, kind gift God had waiting for me – just a few hours away. That’s just the kind of thoughtful, crazy love He has for those who love Him. In a season full of loud, broken questions on my end, He returns over and over with quiet, kind responses. Like icy water on a July afternoon, they are the just right things at just perfect moments. He is so good – and that is more than enough for me.